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Friday, November 07, 2008

We beat Catholic High 5-0 after playing five sets, i was put in during the third set to serve, but i screwed up, and ended up on the bench the next match. I just suck to the core, no matter how hard i ever work, the world seems to be against me. Against whatever im working hard at. When i slack in some things, i seem to do better than the things i work hard in. I just never have that luck. One thing that almost everyone in my life has. Except me.I just seem so weak, so lousy, and sometimes i even seem like i havent done any work when i actually have. During the five matches i sat flipping the scoreboard at the win of every point, making a silent wish for the set to end faster and my coach to put me in for the next set. No wonder the term 'false hope' exists.I just hoped. Hoped during that friendly that spanned 2 hours. Then when i was finally put in for a moment, i screwed up. It all seemed to happen so quickly.

Recently, i've also realised. Realised that im just disposable, annoying, unwanted, maybe even hated. I've always been there for all friends who need a listening ear, and i have friends who lend me a listening ear but when it comes to our normal life, i just seem so ignored, abandoned. Maybe forgotten. I do stuff that the old me used to do, i tried apologising with every mistake. But still, im treated like im so disposable.

Ok, i've gotta go for dinner.

Signing Off,
Justin

ending
2:42 AM


DeeJay

Justin
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